I want to start this blog about eroticism with the following:
A woman needs a room of her own to write and masturbate.
I don't know if you know, but in literature there is a "saying" (although it is actually a quote from a book of essays by a very important writer named Virginia Woolf) that says "every woman needs a room of her own to write in."
Beyond analyzing Woolf's essays in that book or critiquing the criticism she received and still receives for that statement, I want to start this series of blog posts where we will talk about eroticism (myself and hopefully other people) with a reflection on one's own space and the fertile space for pleasure and the free development of bodily eroticism (I will also talk in another post about the differences between the three types of eroticism).
Well, I, the creator of WETCARLOTA, am a 26-year-old woman who has lived outside her parents' home since I was 16. And it wasn't because I was super rebellious or super brave enough to leave home so young, but because I had the privilege of leaving my hometown of Manizales for the capital to study, financially supported by my parents. Which separates me from the reality of many other women, including myself at this very moment.
Leaving home so young has left me in a privileged position in many ways, including having my own space for a long time. That is, being able to get out of bed naked and go to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee without any interruptions to my privacy or silence. That's what I mean by my own space. And that's precisely what I don't have right now.
I should also say before getting to my point that I've always been a pretty good lone ranger—or introvert—because the above scene may sound nostalgic to some, but for me, it's the best possible way to start a morning. This also sets me apart from other women who would much rather be surrounded by people and chatting over coffee.
Now, this reflection comes to mind because, despite my lifestyle being what I just told you about, I'm currently living with my parents, and that has changed many aspects of my life, including my relationship with eroticism.
Getting started with WETCARLOTA...
This project began as a pure expression of my own eroticism, framed within the intimacy of the small studio apartment where I lived until last year, combined with erotic explorations that arose as a result of the pandemic with the person I was with at that time of confinement.
As soon as I moved in with my parents, my erotic energy plummeted, and the famous and clichéd "flame of passion" was extinguished. I stopped masturbating like I used to, I stopped establishing rituals of pleasure and self-appreciation, I stopped taking photos of myself, and it became uncomfortable to sext or do anything else that involved my erotic expression.
At that moment, I realized that my privilege had clouded my empathy for those who don't have the literal and metaphorical space to freely and comfortably develop their eroticism. Not because I criticized those who didn't have that space, but because I wasn't even aware that not having it has profound implications for people's erotic lives. Since I've had erotic needs that go beyond the genitals, I'm alone in my own space. And freely and comfortably developing eroticism doesn't mean being afraid of the vibrator being heard in the next room. Free and comfortable doesn't mean having to orgasm in silence.
Developing eroticism freely and comfortably (for me, given my privileges and personalities) means being able to make and drink coffee naked and alone, and being able to put my phone in selfie mode to pose and take sexy photos in every corner of my own home with my WETCARLOTA tattoos. But that home is almost a fantasy for many, even for myself at this moment when my financial priorities don't include having a space of my own.
Having a room—a space—of one's own is of course a political and economic issue of much greater importance than what I can barely address here, but among all these things is developing eroticism freely and comfortably because it is vital for building self-appreciation, self-love, pleasure, and good living.
I wonder how other women and other people experience it, because it's not just a women's issue.
In any case, I think a woman should always try, literally or metaphorically, to create her own space to write and masturbate—and everything that isn't necessarily masturbating but is experiencing her eroticism.
Do you have something to contribute? - Comment on this blog or send me a DM at @wetcarlota
